I've been having a hard last couple of months (about 32 of them) and during these boring last four days counldn't help but think about how awful life has been (... yes, I am wallowing in self pity) but I've put this post together to spend time appreciating what I do have; Strong faith in the Father, Son and Holy spirit, blessed with a beautiful family, loving soul mate and breath taking mountains surrounding my everyday life in addition to a glass that seems to be about half full.
// Photos top to bottom // Sun bathing on the deck // A typical sunset as seen from my back yard // Enjoying the warm breeze and sweet sunnies // An Oh, Shoot! idea I've been working on // The pool... my absolute favorite place during the summer // Ice Orchid from Karen, Sergio's mom, that has been blooming for months // Nightly post-run walks with my dogs which my boxers LIVE for //
I am starting to hit the point of summer when all the sticky heat and sunshine start to affect my brain in weird ways. I feel restless and bored. I've actually haven't accomplished much in the last four days, it felt good the first day of summer but now on the third month of break I am feeling guilty and lazy. Around this time every year I usually sufferer from a bit of summer depression, it always seem to me like every other person in the country is living the perfect life, full filling their dreams and being carefree. While I have nothing to distract me from my disappointment. I wanted so much from this summer: a job, weight loss, friendship, adventures, a garden, ravenous book reading, art making and figuring out school plans. I've not been able to cross any of those goals off my list. I desire with my entire being for those things but I desire most for financial independence. I haven't been able to find employment since I moved to Utah 3 summers ago. I've applied and applied and applied. I am 23 years old and I don't even have money to pay my library fines. I feel so defeated and afraid, I want my life to be different but I can't change things without money and I can't have money without a job. It breaks my heart. I don't care where I am employed I just want to work so bad. I need to pray about all of these heavy emotions and desires but I am asking you also pray for me as I have an orientation which may potentially lead to a full time job. If I don't get this job I am going to be beyond devastated and the only way I believe I will get the position through lots and lots of prayer. I am suffering from a bit of the summer blues as you may be able to tell but that's nothing God can't handle for me.